and she swears there's nothing wrong

People don't understand. They say it will be fine. They don't understand what it's like to lose the part of you that makes you who you are. The part that is your motivation, your livelihood, your coping mechanism, your passion. People think and comment that it's a good thing. It's a good thing to lose something this important? To lose the sense of control you have in life? Interesting.

It's difficult really. To feel trapped in your own body and mind, to not be able to run free. The fatigue, weakness,and helplessness are overwhelming at times. However, all people can say is "maybe it's for the best" or "you are just overworked." They don't understand what it is like to not be able to do something that is such a large piece of you...and with no end in sight of when these activities can be resumed, when I can get back to my muse.

It's hurts too, to not being able to do anything, both physically and mentally. The aches, the pain, the cramps, the fatigue, looking in the mirror, the exhaustion, the insomnia, the lack of stress relief, the lack of alone moments to think, the time to just be out there without nothing else, no one else.